I'm a Real Boy
by Ketsueki Gesshoku
Summary: Her parents had always told her to act like the other girls; be a normal girl; do what you have to do to fit in as a girl! But the thing is...SAKURA HARUNO IS NOT A GIRL./ "Sakura-chan...w-what's that between your...legs...?" Naruto blanched.../ "WHAT!" Sasuke screamed.../ "I'm impressed, you're a lot bigger than dickless." Sai commented with a straight face... Male!Sakura. Comedic
1. Prologue

**A/N: To fit the story, time frames of events were changed accordingly. So, yes, I am aware that Sakura was not born during the Third Shinobi War, but I'm doing it anyways! Just think of it this way, other than the Konoha Twelve and those in their age group, everyone else is a bit younger!**

**Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors!**

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

Sakumo Hatake heaved a long sigh as he slid his tanto into its sheath. His eyes skimmed over the bloody field, taking in the multiple bodies, until settling on the two lying before his feet. He felt a slight ache in his chest when he took note of their clasped hands. _At least they died together_, he thought sadly and crouched down. Extending his right hand out, he closed the eyes of the woman, and then the man in respect for the dead couple, and got back up. He turned around, intending to leave, when he heard _it_.

The crying of a child.

He froze with one foot in the air, unsure if he was hearing right, because _no way in hell would there be a kid on a battlefield_. He swallowed dryly and replaced his foot on the ground. Then, very slowly, he turned in the direction of the crying. It was coming from one of the few trees that lined at the edge of Wind Country's side of its boarder with Fire Country. A bit hesitant, he took a tentative step forward. Then another, and another, and soon, he broke into a full run. He ignored the few cries of his comrades from behind, his ears only hearing the desperate cries, and upon reaching the fourth closest tree, he found the source of it.

In a basket, placed within a hole in the tree's trunk, wrapped in white blankets, was a baby. A _baby_. **A baby.** Sakumo's eyes widened with disbelief, and with trembling hands, he grabbed the edge of the basket and dragged it out. The sudden movement caused the baby to stop crying, and instead, stare at the silver haired man looking down at it. Emerald eyes blinked curiously at the unfamiliar man, and then a tiny hand reached out as the baby began to smile and laugh. Sakumo still couldn't believe his eyes as his fingers brushed against the top of the baby, running through a small tuff of light pink hair. A spec of red appeared in the hair, and as if burned, he pulled away quickly.

"Sakumo! What's going on?" a voice shouted from behind him.

He couldn't answer, because all Sakumo could think was the couple he had killed. The two Suna shinobi he had pierced with his tanto - right through their hearts. Was this their child? A girl with pink hair and emerald eyes? He furrowed his brow. No, that's unlikely. They had dark brown auburn hair and dark brown eyes; a common trait among Wind Country Natives. Not pink and green eyes...but what if it was some odd trait way back in their family? What if the child _was _theirs?

"Sakumo!"

"What the-!"

"Is that a _baby_?"

The sudden exclamations brought Sakumo out of his thoughts. Turning his head to look at his team mates, he frowned. All three were practically covered in blood. In fact, he was the cleanest out of them, which meant... With a sigh, Sakumo returned his attention to the baby and, with hesitation, picked it up.

"Sakumo...what are you going to do the kid?" one of his comrades questioned.

"What, you ask?" he turned to face them, raising an eyebrow. "Well, would _you_ leave a baby to die beside a battlefield? I'm taking it to Konoha, of course!"

"Alright, alright," his team mate said, raising his hands in surrender. "We'll take it - the kid - she-" He paused, "Err...that _is_ a girl, right?"

Sakumo frowned and looked down on the small head with light pink hair.

_PINK._

"I would assume so..."

"Well, one way to find out," another of Sakumo's comrades said aloud as he reached out to tug the blanket off the baby, revealing its nude body.

An awkward silence filled the air.

"Wow."

"That really sucks."

"The kid is going to have a _really_ hard time in the future."

Sakumo blinked, his mind registering what he was seeing, before he managed to snap out of it. "Uhh..." he cleared his throat, "Tori, take the basket with us. There might be something in there."

"Yeah...sure..."

* * *

_Mission 97 Report_  
_S-Rank_  
_Date: Apirl 22, XXXX_  
_Status: Completed_  
_Submitted by: Sakumo Hatake_

_..._

_ ...Upon defeating the Suna shinobi, my squad discovered a child in the battlefield - a baby no older than one. We took it upon ourselves to bring the child with us to Konoha. With the child's discovery, there was a basket, and in it was a birth certificate with pictures. The following attachment is this certificate and pictures._

_ There was no incidents when returning to Konoha._

* * *

_**CERTIFICATION OF BIRTH**_

_**SUNA HOSPITAL**_

**Name: **_Satoru Akasuna_

**Birth Date: **_March 23, XXXX_

**Gender: **_Male_

**Weight: **-

**Height: **-

**Mother: **_Sakura Akasuna_

**Father: **_Satoshi Akasuna_

**Brother:** _Sasori Akasuna_

* * *

"Thank you for your understanding, Haruno-san."

"It's not a problem, Hokage-sama," Kizashi Haruno bowed, "We are honored that you would choose us to care for this child."

Beside him, his wife, Mebuki Haruno, hummed softly as she rocked the small bundle of blankets in her arms. She smiled cheerfully at her new adopted child. The Third Hokage grinned at the newly appointed parents before dismissing them with a few words and a wave of his hands. Kizahi and Mebuki bowed before turning around to leave the office.

"We'll have to stop by the hospital before returning home," Kizashi said after closing the door behind them. His wife nodded in agreement as they made their way down the hallway and toward the stairs. "The Hokage is a bit worried that the child will be shunned by the other villagers if they find out that he is from Suna," he continued on, holding up a thin scroll with the Hokage Seal, "He requests that he gets a new birth certificate."

"Don't you mean _she_, Kizashi-kun?" Mebuki said, speaking for the first time.

Kizashi blinked. "No, dear, the child is a boy..."

"I don't think so," she said softly, and yet, her voice sounded hard and cold. "Look at this pink hair and emerald eyes...it's obviously a girl."

"Honey-"

"I think we'll name _her_ Sakura. What do you think, love?" Mebuki questioned, coming to a stop at the top of the staircase as she turned to her husband with a smile.

Kizashi blinked again, debating whether or not he should argue with his wife about this. His mind then went back to when they had lost their first child two years ago. It was stillborn...and was a girl. Losing their daughter had broken Mebuki, and now that they had a son...

No, not a son.

"Yes, dear," he smiled at her, "That's a beautiful name."

* * *

_**CERTIFICATION OF BIRTH**_

_**KONOHA HOSPITAL**_

**Name: **_Sakura Haruno_

**Birth Date: **_March 23, XXXX_

**Gender: **_Female_

**Weight: **-

**Height: **-

**Mother: **_Mebuki Haruno_

**Father:** _Kizashi Haruno_

* * *

**A/N: YES, I WENT THERE. SAKURA IS A BOY IN THIS STORY. Chapter 1 will be up soon. The prologue was just an experiment to this idea. I'M GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I apologize for any spelling and grammar errors. I also apologize that this chapter is short, but the lengths of future chapters will increase over time.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Giggle.

Smile.

Insert a flip of hair here.

More smiles.

Flutter the eyelashes.

Then finally...a wink.

Across the small cafe, a boy began to blush. Four pairs of eyes watched as he waved a waiter over with a trembling hand. It was almost too pathetic too watch, but nevertheless, entertaining as he said something to the worker and motioned his hand in a particular direction. The waiter, who glanced up, nodded to the customer with understanding before moving to disappear into the kitchen. Five minutes later, he returned with a plate of four slices of cheesecake covered with strawberry sauce. He walked through the cafe, approaching a group of four girls.

"Ladies," he said with a dazzling smile as he set each dessert in front of each girl, "These are for you... A treat from the young man over there." He jerked his head in the direction of the still blushing boy.

One of the girls giggled and gave the waiter a cheerful smile. "Please tell him we said _thank you very much_."

He nodded. "Of course." Then he left.

It wasn't until the worker was gone from earshot did the group of girls then lean forward toward each other and began to gossip furiously. One in particular was pointing accusingly to the pinkette sitting across from her. "Damn forehead, you really know how to get them!"

"It's all about body language," Sakura smirked as she picked up a fork. Cutting a piece of her free (to her) cheesecake, she gave the boy another wink before taking a bite. With a smug look, she watched as the boy began to blush even more; his face taking a darker shade of red.

Tenten, who was sitting across the table and beside Ino, gave a low whistle. "Keep this up, and he may break Hinata's blushing record."

Said Hyuuga felt her own face heating up, and she looked down in a useless attempt to hide it.

Ino snorted in amusement. "I swear, billboard brow. Any guy, anywhere, you know how to get their attention," the blonde said before digging into her own cheesecake. The other two kunoichi quickly moved to follow her lead. It wasn't until they were done and exiting the cafe, did Sakura finally respond to her words.

"I just know what guys want to see and want to hear."

"You mean there's more than just showing off our legs, boobs, and telling how _amazing_ they are?" Tenten questioned, shooting a knowing look in Ino's direction, whom rolled her sky blue eyes.

"Hey!" she said, "I'm not the one who's single here!"

"A-Actually, Ino-chan," Hinata spoke up, her voice soft, but loud enough for her friends to hear. "You broke up with that Kenichi boy last week, remember?"

Ino blinked. "Oh? I didn't tell you that I got a new boyfriend yesterday?"

Tenten face-palmed, "Wow, Ino. You're such a slut."

"You're just jealous of my beauty! ..._and_ my skills in bed!"

"I don't even want to know what you do in your bed!"

"Lies! I bet you wish you could do at least half of the things I can do in my bed!"

"Ino, that is just wrong! I really don't want to hear anything about your sex life!"

"Please, you're dying to hear what I did when Sai and I-"

"Lala, I'm not listening!"

"-or when-"

"_STILL NOT LISTENING!_"

Hinata and Sakura watched in amusement as their two friends charged forward down the road, forcing people to quickly move out of their ways. Or more like, Tenten was trying to runaway with her hands covering her ears, and Ino was chasing after her and going on and on about her experiences. Sakura shook her head, shooting a wide grin at the shy girl walking beside her.

"There they go again."

Hinata nodded, a small knowing smile shaping her lips, but said nothing. The two lapsed into a comfortable silence as they followed the other half of their group, but at a more moderate pace. Almost five minutes passed when a Genin suddenly appeared before them, jumping down from the roofs above.

"Sakura-onee-san! Tsunade-obaa-chan wants to see you!"

"Thank you, Konohamaru," Sakura smiled at the young boy, emerald eyes scanning over his body. "Say, did you get taller?"

"Half an inch!" he declared happily. "Well, I got to go now! I have to go and deliver something to Iruka-sensei!"

Sakura gave him a nod, and after he left, turned to Hinata. "I'll be leaving then."

She nodded, "I'll tell Ino and Tenten that you went to go see the Hokage."

Sakura smiled. "I'll see you tonight at Ino's house for the sleepover. Later, Hinata-chan!" She formed a single hand seal and disappeared into a puff of smoke...to reappear right outside the windows of the Hokage's office a moment later. With a deep breath, she slid one of the windows opened and swung her leg into the oval shaped room.

"You called for me, Tsunade-sama?"

The named woman jumped in her seat. A few cursed words filled the air. "Damn it, Sakura! Why can't you be normal and knock at the door like everybody else?" she complained, turning around in her chair. Sakura took note of the small wet stain on her shirt, and the now empty sake cup in her right hand. "You made me waste perfectly good sake!"

"You do know that the only one to 'knock at the door' is Shizune-onee-san, correct?" she questioned, slipping the rest of her body into the office. After sliding the window closed, she moved to stand in front of the Hokage's desk. "Everybody else either transports directly into your office, walks right through the door, or - like what I did - use the window. So...technically, comparing myself to everyone else, I _am_ 'normal.' Though, I question what your definition of normal is in the first place."

Honey brown eyes glared darkly into a pair of amused emerald.

"Shut up, Haruno."

Sakura raised a hand and figuratively zipped up her mouth.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, and with a huff of annoyance, leaned back into her chair, a bottle of sake in one hand. She took a few sips - gulps - and through it, Sakura waited patiently until the older woman basically finished her sake. With a satisfied 'ahh', the blonde then chucked the now empty battle to her left, where it joined a small growing pile. Sakura raised a brow at the sight of this, and knew that Shizune was not going to be happy. Nonetheless, she continued to stay silent, and watched as Tsunade's back straightened. A serious look appeared on her face, and it made Sakura, herself, gain a grim expression.

"Jiraiya informed me that he and Naruto will be returning within a week."

Different emotions flashed across Sakura's face. Confusion, understanding, surprise, happiness, excitement, horror, and then annoyance. The fifteen year old kunoichi groaned as she slapped a hand over her eyes. Despite loving her teammate like a brother, and looking forward to seeing him once again, there was one thing her loud mouthed male blonde could never understand. Though, it was understandable as to why.

Isolation.

Growing up, Naruto spent his childhood alone and shunned. Nobody wanted to do anything with him. He was kicked out of stores, sold horrible food... Life was just miserable and lonely for the blonde, and because of this, he grew up into someone who assured _no one _ would ever feel the way he did. That no one would feel the pain of being alone; isolated from everyone else. _Especially his important people_, and while it was good to know that Sakura was among them, Sakura herself _needed_ her time of isolation.

To be away from people.

To be completely alone.

To be _by herself_ and _isolated_.

That was the only time Sakura could actually be herself. Her _real_ self, and with Naruto returning, those times were going to be little to none.

"You know, he'll understand if you tell him the truth," Tsunade said, her voice so low that Sakura had almost missed her words.

"Uhh...thanks, but no thanks," the pinkette muttered, her hand sliding to the back of her neck, where she rubbed against the peach tinted skin. "Fifteen years of lying to him, to _everyone_. I don't think anyone would be so understanding of it."

"It _is_ Naruto."

Sakura paused to think.

"...you're probably right-"

Tsunade snorted and mumbled, "When am I ever wrong?"

"When you gamble."

Another dark glare was thrown at Sakura, who snickered.

"Anyways, that's beside the point," Sakura said, changing the topic. "Okaa-san would be angry if I started to tell the truth."

"Bah, who cares what that old bat says!"

_Funny, aren't you an 'old bat' yourself? _Sakura thought, inwardly smirking. On the outside, however, she continued on speaking. "Also, since I _have_ been lying all my life so far, it would be difficult for me to start now."

"You have to start _somewhere_," Tsunade pointed out.

She shrugged, "Eventually, but not right now."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Next week, you'll tell Naruto the truth. That's an order."

"One year from now."

"Next _week_."

"Eleven months."

"One month."

"Ten."

"One."

"...seven?"

"One."

"Four."

"One."

"Give me at least three!"

"Two and a half."

Sakura grumbled under her breath. "Fine, _two and a half_ months after Naruto returns, and I'll tell him that-"

There was a soft knock at the door. Blinking, Sakura turned as Tsunade said "Enter". A second later, Shizune was walking in with a small scroll in her hand. Upon seeing that the Hokage was not alone, she halted after a couple of steps. "Why, hello, Sakura-chan."

"Hi, Shizune-onee-chan!" Sakura greeted with a smile.

After returning the smile, the black haired kunoichi directed her attention to Tsunade. She approached the large wooden desk and set the scroll in her hand down. "A new mission has been requested from a small village almost two days from here. The leader is paying for a B-rank to get rid of a group of bandits."

"A B-rank? Are the bandits dangerous?"

Shizune shook her head. "From what has been written in the letter, the group of bandits are not shinobi."

"So why are they willing to pay it as a high rank mission?"

"They wish for the problem to be taken care of immediately, as soon as possible," she answered, glancing back over her shoulder at Sakura, who was listening with slight interest. "I apologize for interrupting your meeting, but the village Leader seemed very desperate."

Tsunade reached out a hand and grabbed the scroll. Unraveling the string, she rolled it opened, and her honey brown eyes ran over its contents. "I see... I'll take care of this then. You're dismissed, Shizune."

The woman nodded, and with a farewell to Sakura, she left, closing the door behind her. Sakura waited until Shizune's footsteps faded away before she raised her hand like when she knew the answer to a question in her days as an Academy student.

"I'll take the mission, Tsunade-sama."

A blonde eyebrow raised in suspicion. "If I recall correctly, you're on vacation, and said vacation does not end until this Sunday. You're not supposed to have a mission during this time."

"Well, _Ino_ found out about my little vacation, and decided to take advantage of it," Sakura sighed in irritation, ignoring the slight warmth in her cheeks. "She demanded that we, plus Tenten and Hinata, have an all out sleepover."

"...a sleepover?"

"A sleepover," Sakura repeated through clenched teeth.

Tsunade smirked. "And why wouldn't you enjoy a sleepover with the girls, _Sakura-chan_? I am quite sure you would _enjoy_ it."

"Tsunade-sama!"

"I'm sure Kotetsu and/or Izuma can handle this mission easy."

"Tsunade-sama, please!"

"Hmm...they have been complaining about being stuck on gate duty after all..."

"I'LL BUY YOU A CRATE OF SAKE WHEN I RETURN."

"Deal. Here's your mission!"

_EVIL WOMAN_.

* * *

"I know it's last minute, but it can't be helped," Sakura said, head turned and emerald looking down at the ground. After having received her newest mission, she had gone home to pack. The sun was about to set, and she wanted to get out of the village and get some traveling in before it was too late. It had nothing to do with the fact that she did not want to risk Ino somehow convincing her to attend the sleepover anyways were she to plan to leave the next day. Nope. nothing like that.

"Wow, that sucks, and you're on vacation too!" Ino pouted, placing her hands on her hips. Sakura looked up at her and attempted to give an apologetic smile, but felt her body freeze. Her best friend paid little attention to the fact that the sash around her robes had come undone, causing said robe to open a little. Without her consent, emerald eyes noticed the drop of water that fell from Ino's long blonde hair - the girl had just finished showering a little while - and slid down her neck, collarbone, and down into-

"Well, we'll have to do this another time."

"Uh - yeah - sure, of course!" Sakura said, her eyes shooting up to meet disappointed sky blue. "W-Where's..." she coughed a little, clearing her throat. "Where's Tenten and HInata?"

"They're in the bathroom. Tenten just finished showering, I think, and Hinata is about to get in."

_They're...bathroom...showering..._

Sakura slammed the door to that thought, and ignored the nonexistent tingling sensation she felt between her legs. Nope, there was nothing. There was no odd feeling. She wasn't thinking anything bad, anyways! Definetely not something including Tenten and Hinata-

"Well, I got to go now! See ya later, pig!" Sakura said, and before Ino could even say anything, she jumped up to her best friend's roof and began to make her way toward the front gates. Ino blinked, and with a shrug of her shoulders, stepped back into her house and closed the door. Feeling her chakra signature recede deeper into her home, Sakura quickly created a hand sign, and the next thing she knew, she was in the bathroom of her apartment.

She didn't waste time to drop her clothes and pack to the ground before turning on the shower, and jumping in. Automatically flinching, she ignored her reaction to get out from under the frozen cold sprays of water, because she had to deal with something more important.

More hard...

_Damn it. Stupid teenage hormones._

...because Sakura Haruno had to deal with a little problem. A problem only a boy, like _himself_, would normally get.

A boner.

"God, I hate pretending to be a girl," Sakura said, her - _his _- voice becoming a few octaves lower and less feminine as the jutsu to tighten his vocal chords was released.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry that the chapter is late! I got sick, and then I had finals and check-offs I was stressing over for class... So being sick and stressed meant becoming sicker...and I just recently got better! I felt bad that I hadn't written or updated the first chapter to this story though, and that's why it's so short! To try and make things up, expect a new chapter in the next two or three days.  
**

**Updates for this story will be on a basis of one to two weeks on either Wednesday or Thursdays. Reasons why it may be longer will be because something may have come up, or I'm sorting out details.**

**OH, AND IMPORTANT THING!**

**Male!Sakura.**

**In terms of being a guy.**

**Straight, Gay, or Bisexual?**


End file.
